What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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