you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
