I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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