just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
