I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
