We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
