why didn't you poke me back
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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