Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
