Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
