my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Your penis caused this!
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
