Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Randomize
