Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
