so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
