Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Randomize
