is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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