just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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