How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
