I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
