idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
