I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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