I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
