mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
