You just made me feel so damn special
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
