Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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