Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
