my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
