I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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