C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
