Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
