OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
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