I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
