he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
