i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
