i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
