It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
pray to the hookup gods
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
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