with your own penis?
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
