Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
