It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
