I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Also, beer. Big fan.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
