..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
