Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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