eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
