I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
jump out the window naked night went bad
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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