I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
