My room smells like vodka and shame
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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