And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
