should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
