This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
