are you still at the devil's house?
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
