never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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