sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Randomize
